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Sisto Act
Jeremy Sisto takes brotherly love to a whole new level as Six Feet Under's creepy Billy. But in matters of real-life romance, it's all aboveboard. As Rachel Griffiths' seriously messed-up brother, Billy Chenowith, on HBO's Six Feet Under, Jeremy Sisto bares a leonine visage that has become associated with all that's right about regular use of psychotropic medication and our culture's incest taboos. (“But Billy needs me,” Brenda's always saying. Yes, hon, apparently he does.) Sisto, who's 28 and has been acting since he was seven, explores different on-screen problems this month as Holly Hunter's recovering addict boyfriend in Thirteen, which was the toast of this year's Sundance Film Festival. In the past we've seen Sisto get nailed to a cross as Christ in a CBS miniseries, and in the title role of this summer's Caesar on TNT, he had knives plunged into his gut 23 times. Sound painful? Actually, sounds a bit like love, Sisto style. Elle: Your character on Six Feet Under made it clear that he wants to sleep with his sister. Is your own sister creeped out? Jeremy Sisto: We've decided it's best she doesn't watch that particular program. Elle: What was the worst thing a woman ever said to you? JS: I had this really great experience with this girl, and I saw her again and she said, “Sorry, I don't remember.” Elle: Who was your first crush? JS: I was 11 or 12, and I did an after-school special called Whoops, I Get Embarrassed with a girl who had this frizzy hair. I lied to my best friend and told him I kissed her because I was certain I'd never actually get to kiss a girl. Elle: How do you meet women? JS: I don't have the gene that allows me to go up to a girl I'm attracted to. Most of the girls I've been with have been fairly, uh, forward. Elle: If you could inhabit the body of any man, living or dead, to pick up women, who would it be? JS: In whatever body I was inhabiting, I'm sure I'd screw up the pick-up line. Elle: Did being a very young actor help get girls' attention? JS: Not really, fortunately. I'd probably be even more messed up if it had. Elle: What's the one thing you're most hesitant to have women learn about you? JS: It would be pretty silly to have that published. Elle: What's your biggest weakness in relationships? JS: I suppose I can be a little restless. Elle: Can men and women be just friends? JS: Of course. We're not animals. Elle: All right, a man and a very hot woman, can they be friends? JS: Definitely. If I have a connection with a beautiful woman that I'd sleep with but we don't work together in that way, our friendship is much more important. Elle: Generally, who says I love you first, you or the woman? JS: I guess me. There's nothing like the first time. It really gets your blood flowing. Elle: Do you have any strategies for arguing with women? JS: Don't stay up until dawn if you don't know what the argument's about. Elle: From head to toe, build me your perfect woman. JS: I'll tell you on my wedding day. Elle: Kathie Lee Gifford or Anna Nicole Smith? JS: I don't think either one of them will be there. Elle: Is there anything only women can do that you envy? JS: Well, they get free shit for being pretty. And cops let them off for speeding tickets. Elle: Describe the perfect date. JS: A little lunch. A nice nap. Maybe a game of chess. Elle: How about the worst date you ever had? JS: I don't go on a lot of dates. They stress me out. That said, one bad date involved a lot of talk of Jesus and how he changed her life. The other involved me having too many glasses of wine to try to calm the nerves and basically just becoming a bumbling fool. Elle: What's the best advice you got from a woman? JS: Change your clothes. Elle: Romantically, do you identify with any characters from literature or film? JS: Holden Caulfield, Arturo Bandini. Elle: If your love life were committed to the screen, what genre would it be and who would direct? JS: Straight-up melodrama directed by Jane Campion. Elle: What's the most emasculating thing a woman has ever done to you? JS: I had a girlfriend with whom every day was an emasculating experience. Toward the end of our relationship, it got to where I'd go to her house once a week for a couple of hours of banter and frustration. Don't ask me why we were together. Elle: Fair enough, I won't. So why were you together? JS: Okay, I did some mushrooms one night and saw the two of us in the nineteenth century on a farm as husband and wife and thought we had to be together. Elle: Rad. What does love feel like? JS: You ever tried nitrous? Similar. Kills about the same number of brain cells too. |
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