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Libby interviews... Jesus
Dear reader, your Libby was taking a little break at a clinic when she got the phone call to end all calls. Somebody so-and so called to ask if yours truly would be interested in interviewing Jesus. Well, excitement cut right through the tranquillizers, I dropped the phone mid-sentence and was out of there before you could say co-dependency. On the plane ride, thousands of thoughts were floating through my head the uppermost being I had finally scooped Barbara Walters. This is was interview of a lifetime. June 1st I met up with Jesus in the Beverly Hills Hotel. Libby: First off, I have to say that although I'm not a religious person I have great admiration for what you do. Jeremy: Thank you. Libby: When I heard about this interview I almost fainted, I hadn't even heard anything about it. I am really surprised that the media didn't make a bigger deal over you. Jeremy: Well the reviews were for the most part very favourable, but there's "Millionaire" and... Libby: Oh, I know, but you'd think at the very least you would have been given at least as much coverage as Liz and Hugh maybe a little less, but up there. Now down to business. Let's start with your father. Jeremy:...sure. OK. Libby: What is like to be the son of a man who is...omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent... Jeremy: It's Ok, I guess, because I really don't know what those words mean. Libby: Oh right deeper meanings and all that, well, what was it like being the son of such a powerful man? Jeremy: How do you know my father? Libby: Even though I'm not religious, I hear things--not in the Joan of Arc way, but I hear things. Jeremy: Well, like any father and son we've had our problems. Libby: Did he ever think of you as maybe a bit of a show-off? Jeremy: No, I wouldn't say that. I think he knows that I have more of an artistic disposition. Libby: Oh, right, like those little stories in the Bible or whatever, you know like "a guy walks into a bar" only with lepers and a message? Jeremy:.....parables? Libby: Yeah, I think so. Well those are kind of artistic, don't you think? Instead of the ten commandments where it's rules, rules, rules, they leave room for a little interpretation. Jeremy: I guess so. Libby: But what I'm getting at is the big show offy- stuff like walking on water. That's not subtle. I guess I shouldn't ask, but I'm a journalist and I have to: how did you do that? That must have been hard. Jeremy: Not really, it was mostly special effects. Libby: Uh huh!! I knew that!!! Bobby Goldsboro owes me a lunch. Now, I have so many questions and so little time. Moses. You're quite similar in that he was a bit of a show off too. I remember seeing the film where Charlton Heston parted the Red Sea.You both like big production numbers, you with your loaves and fishes and him with his sea and desert schtick. I have to ask you--is there any jealousy? Jeremy: Well, first off there's a huge gap of time seperating us and secondly, it's not in your control. You audition for the role and you either get it or you don't, you can't worry about it. Libby: That's how it works! Oh, my God (I beg your pardon) but I'm sniffing a Pulitzer. Let's see, now that you're here are you going to stop world hunger, disease, wars and find a miracle diet pill? Jeremy: Well I'm active in a lot of charitable causes but I don't know if I can...I will certainly take an active part. Libby: That's it? Wow, it just shows you, you can't believe hype. Now my final question, something that has been troubling me for many, many years--why do Evangelists dress so bad? Jeremy: I have no idea. Libby: Oh. one of the eternal mysteries huh? With that our interview concluded. I kissed his ring and left. The holiness of the whole thing overwhelmed me. I left the hotel and saw a bum. Instead of turning my head I went over to him reached into my purse and gave him my Montclair pen and half a tube of Estee Lauder lipstick. This was a life-changing interview. June 2nd |
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